“Judge a man not by how he treats his equals but how he treats his inferiors.”

My sister came home for dinner today, and it was super awkward and quiet at dinner. Her left eye was all red for some reason, and my mom kept pointing it out, telling my sister that she needed to get more sleep, laughing about how my sister says she is so busy, and demanding that she drink the chicken soup she made especially for her. My sister is leaving to Mexico on Thursday – it’s supposed to snow on Thursday : 6 inches. I don’t know anymore, is that a lot? I just want the snow to end already.

I feel a LOT better today. I did pilates for blogilates – Cassey Ho is absolutely amazing. She is so encouraging that during her workout, I felt like crying, because I felt so incredibly connected to her. It made me think about how YouTube is revolutionizing the world, because Cassey does the full 30 minutes with you, so what’s the point of going to a class? I guess people are more held accountable if they pay money for a class and have to show up and do it in a group setting. I’m determined to continue doing at least one of these videos a day, because I feel GREAT!

My bottom left wisdom tooth is killing me. It’s growing in. My three other ones are just about all grown out… The reason why I’m not getting them taken out is because… like hell are you going to put me under and drag me to a dentist’s office unless it is absolutely necessary. I hate the doctor’s. I hate hospitals. I hope I just die in my sleep one day. I absolutely, absolutely am terrified by hospitals.

I entered a contest on Instagram today for some $400 boots… The idea was to come up with an outfit that you would wear with the boots. There are only three entries at this point: 1) one person didn’t even put up a caption with the outfit they’d wear with the boots 2) the second person didn’t come up with an outfit in the style that the person asked for 3) ME. I did it. Um, okay, so I’m hoping everyone forgets about it & time goes on faster so that I can win these boots basically by default. 

I did a lot of reading today – today was a much needed rest day. Back to reading and feeling myself again. :*

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Unknown

I guess waking up early all week has taken a bit of a toll on me. I tried waking up at 9:30 today, but I ended up hitting the snooze button about a million and one times and woke up at 11 finally… Now in the past, 11 would have been pretty early for a Saturday morning, but post New Year’s resolution, it’s pretty late… Oops. Oh well. I’ll do better tomorrow.

It was a pretty dreary day today, and I didn’t do much of anything other than watch TV and surf the web. I edited a little bit for the magazine that I’m a part of this year, but that’s really pretty much it. C texted me at 10:30 to ask if I could come over and cuddle, but once it started it snowing, I didn’t want to go out anymore, and when I told him, it made him really sad… And then he asked me if I had feelings for him anymore, and that made me really sad. I told him that it made me upset that he asked that, but then he stopped me and reminded me of the many, many times I accused him of not loving me… And then I finally realized how hurtful my saying that to him was. So, note to self: Don’t accuse C on not loving you anymore even if you feel insecure. It’s not nice. I’m kind of frustrated with myself right now, but if I stay up trying to do stuff, I’ll just wake up late tomorrow and get on a cycle of waking up late and doing nothing and having no energy. Ugh. Sadness all around.

On a brighter note, me and my parents ended up going to dinner tonight at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. We ordered two spider rolls (which definitely does not contain spiders – there’s soft shell crab in there), two dragon rolls (one with salmon, one without), a salmon skin roll (pretty bad), a dynamite roll, an entire squid chopped up into pieces (I was not a fan…seeing tentacles really freaks me out…like really, really freaks me out), 4 tobiko (fish egg), and 2 pieces with the large eggs (I wanted to try it – it tasted like ocean water.) There was also a bar, where you could get crawfish, snow crab legs, seaweed salad, avacado salad, etc. Wow, listing all of these things…. C would have hated eating there haha. Well, if we ever go, there’s a section on the menu for teriyaki & noodles stuff. That works. 😉


I also have to admit that I went online shopping today… I’ve been shopping A LOT lately. I need to stop. Really, really need to stop. I just couldn’t help myself when I found this, because I have been looking for this for the longest time, and I love it so much, and I will wear a million times, and I will never, ever get tired of these.

ImageIt was also $41 off… Ok, I’ll have to start small so as to not go completely crazy, but I resolve not to shop for the next week. For anything (other than food. No one can take me away from my food.)

Time for squats. Bye! xo

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” -Tony Robbins

From this morning’s ramblings on the train:

Today is the first day of Spring semester, and the weather is beautiful! I am so excited to get started, and I’m really determined to have a good semester. I’m meeting up with T and C (who’s coming back from NJ right now!) at 2 after my calc class.

My goals for this semester are to do well in my classes, make new friends, spend more quality time with N and A, get to know people in my club better by making plans to hang out, to go swimming more/ to go on more walks with mom and dad, to drink more water (and fewer sugary drinks), and to eat better too. I’m determined to stop my cycle of depression this semester and find ways to cope with it instead of doing nothing and expecting things to change for me. I want to learn how to control these feelings of sadness so that I can be happy and so that I know what to do to get out of that funk when I find myself in it.

I’m on the train right now! Off to new beginnings 🙂 I hope you have a lovely day xo

Now, 8:51PM:
I’m finally back home! I would say that today was a successful first day of the semester. I only had one class, which is really nice, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will have 4 classes. Ouch. I might still be shuffling things around though (because I always do), so we’ll see. I have a 9AM tomorrow! Aah.

C came to visit me on campus today. We went to Fin’s, which is a sushi restaurant, and I got two California rolls and one Rock n Roll. He got his favorite – salmon friend rice. It was so nice of him to come all the way to BC. I bet he was really tired traveling from NJ. He really is the sweetest. I love spending time with him. 🙂


I just joined the Diet Bet | ShayLoss; Mommyloss Edition haha. I think that Shay Carl is an incredibly inspiring person, and you should check out his YouTube videos if you’ve never heard of him. He’s been making a video every single day for the past 4 years – can you even imagine? So, going along with the thread of motivating myself, following through, and taking care of my body, I decided to join the diet bet. What you do is put $30 in the pot, and if you reach the goal of losing 4% of your weight by the end of the month, you divide the pot up amongst everyone who also reaches the goal. They’re calling it “social dieting.” Because I am 137 pounds, and the bet is to lose 4% of your body weight, I have to lose 5.5 pounds (137*0.04). You also have to post your personal “secret word” that the site gives you, so they can decrease the chances of someone cheating. My word: Bike. Just to be clear, I’m joining the diet bet to motivate myself to eat, drink, and sleep better – it’s not about the numbers for me.


I think that 5.5 pounds is an incredibly reasonable amount of weight to lose in a month. Challenge accepted 😉