Valentine’s Day & Other News xoxo

I remember how important it is to write down things so that I can look back and remember them one day. Today it snowed again, and I’m getting really tired of it. Seriously, weather gods, cut it out. It’s not funny anymore. Yup, we’re all going to die apocalyptically. 

Okay, so yesterday was Valentine’s day, and I didn’t go to school. I was going to, but I had just missed my train, and I was like, ok, shit, if I go now for my one class, I’m going to be late. Then, it started snowing sideways, and I was like, F this, peace out, I’m going to get my NEW LENS. I went to Hunt’s Photo Sho in Kenmore, and they didn’t have it. The guy there said that he would call me when they did, and so I went downstairs to Starbucks to mope around and look up other photo stores. When I came out of the shop though, K was there!!! It was so serendipitous and crazy and unexpected. And we both just looked at each other like Is this really happening?? And it was, and we talked about how crazy and stupid people are like we always do – I think it’s our “thing,” and then she had to go, because her boss was coming to pick her up for her job, and I went to starbucks, got a caramel frap (IT WAS DELICIOUS), and I overheard an interviewer interviewing an interviewee for a job, and this interviewee takes a call in the middle of her interview and proceeds to text. Like, what? Honestly? Come on. 

Anyway, then I went home and started to get ready, watched YouTube on how to Valentine’s day hair, whatever that means, curled my hair, C came over, and we hung out in my room, watched an amazing Bob Ross video of him painting a beautiful picture (I WOULD LOVE ONE OF THESE ONE DAY. TOTALLY AMAZING. AMAZEBALLS. SOOOO AMAZING.) Then, we played around with my lens, cuddled for a little bit, and we went out. We went to Shaws (Brown Sugar was closed for break…3-4. ugh.). At Shaws, we got 99 cent white bread (stupidly I thought the ducks would be out downtown at the Boston Common), I gave my plethora of Valentine’s Day candy that I had gotten from T and from my boss to a homeless person, and then we went on the bus to go to Kenmore — to go to UBURGER! I got a Stunt Double Burger with onion rings — it was good at the time, but I really regretted this decision later. Like, really. Then we went to the Boston Common, played with some squirrels, went to C’s house, looked at photo albums of him being a very strange looking baby, then we hung out, went to McDonalds, and he took me home. It was really nice. For the first time, I could really see myself wanting to spend the rest of my life with him in a very genuine way. It was genuine before, but this was on a whole other level. It’s just so nice to connect with someone on such a pure and genuine level – a genuine kind of love that has no other intentions – to truly love someone is a very raw and beautiful thing. You’re exposing yourself completely to this other person, and it feels …naked. When it hurts, oh, it hurts so so so so so bad. It feels like the end of the world. Nothing else matters. The pain pierces through every part of your body, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. No one can say or do anything to make you stop loving your love even if it hurts so much. But when it’s good, it’s heaven. That’s the best way I can describe it. It’s magical. It’s …yeah, it’s magical. 

So today was a bit of a lazy day. A and his mom came over to get advice about picking classes, and it was really good to be honest about my high school experience. I told them about how much I procrastinated studying and learning math concepts and how I would spend math class studying for AP Enviro (we just had so much reading every single night) — It felt good to be honest. It always feels good to be honest and to share experiences with A. My aunt told me about how when she was little, she hated history, because her history textbooks would be lies. She read many, many books, which is why she knew they were lies. My grandpa would insist that the textbooks were truth, because he was part of that “party.” I was afraid to ask what party she was referring to, and I’m just not going to think about it, I guess. Anyway, I shared my physics flashlight, which I really love — A is deciding between taking physics and chem, and I advocate for physics, but of course everyone is saying that physics is a lot of math…. but honestly, the math is not hard, and chem was harder for me to grasp… definitely. 

Today, mom told me to feel a bath mat. It was wet. She asked me what I felt. I said, it feels wet. Then she said, oh this is the princess lifestyle, she brings things up when they’re wet. I was soo confused and annoyed. Then I realized, she thought I had brought these clothes up. Nope. Then I reveled for a little while she complained, and I said, I didn’t bring them up. Then she said who did??? And I said, Dad did. And then she asked Dad…and he said he brought them up because the time on the dryer was up. And then, I was like I think you owe me an apology, and my aunt was laughing, and I got no apology. TYPICAL. TYPICAL. SO TYPICAL. SO ANNOYING. But it’s okay – since it clearly has not affected her day, I shouldn’t let it affect mine. Letting it goooo….

Goodnight. Xo

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You are confined only by the walls you build yourself

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SNOW DAY TOMORROW!!!!! YOLO. (haha, no I don’t actually say YOLO in real life) 

I’m getting this shirt to wear on Valentine’s day in honor of the day of love. I’m kind of excited! I love any excuse to celebrate love : ) I’m kind of sad that the holiday season is over, but I’m glad we have little holidays like Valentine’s day to get me through to next year… ; ) haha

I could NOT sleep last night whatsoever. I ended up missing (skipping) my 9am class and felt terrible about it…It was Environmental Econ. I guess our professor finally came back from her leave and I’ll never know why she was gone because I don’t talk to anyone in my class 😐 ugh. I also skipped Psych, because I just really wanted to go home…. I came home after going to Shaw’s and getting a cucumber and a lemon to do this:

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“Why this combo?

1. Cucumber: contains citrulline which is an amino acid that has been shown to help our liver and kidneys get rid of ammonia which is a by product of the proteins our bodies burn for energy.

2. Water: helps flush toxins and waste through our system while keeping us hydrated.

3. Lemon: stimulates the digestive track so it’s helpful if you have constipation, heartburn, or gas.

4. Mint: helps you digest effectively because it improves the flow of bile from the liver to the gallbladder to the small intestine to break down dietary fats. It also helps relax cramped up stomach muscles.

5. Orange: contains flavonoids in the peel and juice that stimulate the immune system and protects against a fungi/pests while helping to reduce cholesterol levels.”

So, anyway, I went to BU today to meet up with C, and we ended up going back to his house to cuddle. In his sleep, C kept telling me that he loved me, and he kept kissing me on my neck. It was so romantic… 🙂 His mom drove me home, and on the way we went to McDonalds (C got the 20 piece chicken mcnuggets & I got two mcchickens, fries, and a parfait – YUM haha) & to return 7 books that he borrowed from sci & engineering library :p his mom talked about possibly going to a karaoke night for C’s dad’s choir… yeah, I don’t think we’re going haha

Well, since tomorrow’s a snow day, we’re THIS much closer to the weekend hallelujah….I really need to stop skipping classes and start doing my readings more diligently… BAD N!

PRO TIP FOR PARENTING THAT I LEARNED TODAY – Instead of telling your child “You are so smart,” tell your child, “You worked so hard on that.” Children in a certain study involving puzzles who were told they were smart chose a less challenging puzzle to do next, because they still wanted to appear smart by being able to complete the puzzle… Children who were told that they worked so hard on the puzzle chose even more challenging puzzles in order to show off how hard they could work. Children in this second category take more risks and seem to be more true to themselves in the sense that they’ll go for what they really want instead of seeking approval… 🙂

 

Birthdays, Memories, and Friends.

Throwback to my dad’s birthday party last November!

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The first picture is a flower arrangement my aunt made out of one of the roses that fell off the stem along with a bunch of rose petals that fell off when my mom and me were trimming the stems of the long-stem roses my mom bought for my dad’s 60th birthday. She got him 72 roses – 6 bouquets – 6, because 6 is a lucky number in Chinese culture. The loops were made by my two little cousins, who had a screaming match over the placement of the loops for about half an hour – tears were shed, feelings were hurt… It looks pretty good to me. I wish I hadn’t panicked that day and called my mom so many times to see where she and dad were. I think it really tipped him off… Oops. This was also the first day that my whole family met C, so I guess it was a really important day. Now, whenever we have family gatherings, everyone will ask where C is (even though we’ve been actually dating for almost 5 years!) Image

Yesterday was my best friend’s birthday party. We first met up after I finished up with tutoring in Copley at 11:30 at Kenmore station. Then we went together to Takusan, a Japanese restaurant. Here’s some of what we got:

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Best mac and cheese ever – like liquid gold.

It was a great day. …C’s birthday is coming up. Time to plan… 🙂

Just say no!

We were talking about the Stanford Prison Experiment & the Milgram Experiment in sociology class today, and it made me really annoyed how we went over the concepts & didn’t really discuss anything. The way my sociology professor teaches is really annoying… She asks for definitions and examples of things and then says “Ok,” and moves onto the next term that we have to know… Like…what. There’s no point in going to class.

My environmental economics professor still isn’t back from wherever she’s gone yet, and it’s been two weeks… She has some family emergency abroad  😦 I feel bad for her, but the substitute professor is really awesome & he’s been very entertaining. We watched part of a documentary called Chasing Ice today (I really like documentaries, and I can’t wait to watch Blackfish with C). I’m starting to fall behind on the readings, so I’ll have to push myself not to have youtube playing in the background while I read… It just feels lonely not having any background noise, but at the same time, I get very distracted when I have background noise on… Maybe I’ll put on some noises from Sleep Pillow…?

I’ve been seeing VISIBLE results from exercising these past couple of days!!! Like, what?? I don’t remember the feeling of having a visible dip in my midsection — what is this?? A WAIST???? Incredible. It’s pretty interesting how people pop pills and go on juice cleanses trying to figure out what the “secret” of losing weight is when it’s not a secret at all. Burn more calories than you eat. Eat well & drink water. Go to sleep earlier. The end. My dad said that he read in the paper that going to bed later contributes to gaining weight, and I definitely believe that. For my case, DEFINITELY. Why? Because when I stay up, I start to feel hungry, and then I wander downstairs and heat up a frozen pizza, and I eat all of it, and then I fall asleep. Totally unproductive, totally didn’t use those calories for anything, so the pizza just sits in my body doing nothing useful for me…

Don’t get me wrong – I love my body. I absolutely love my body… but I want to, at the same time, put good things in it, because I deserve it, and this is the only body I’m ever going to have, so I might as well love it and take care of it. The human body can do some amazing things. I don’t want to not be able to run and dance and prance around one day. The Friendly’s chocolate ice cream I bought today on a whim beckons me… It’s in the basement, and I can hear it calling my name…. Ahh…Chocolate ice cream is so good to me…

Edit:

photo (3)Froyo C bought us yesterday from Pinkberry 🙂

 

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” -William Purkey

I caved and shopped online last night.

And I got this bikini on sale for $22 as opposed to $70+ that bikinis cost nowadays. Being a girl is so damn expensive!!

ImageI can’t wait to wear it though. I’m thinking of summer every single day… My mom is thinking of either going on a cruise this year or to Taiwan… or JAPAN! I’ve heard that Japan is a LOT of fun, and I loooooove Japanese food. 

Speaking of Japanese food, my parents and I went to The New Ginza in Watertown last night. It was SO. GOOD. I got the Ebi Mango. It was so, so incredibly good. So, if I can go to Tokyo this year, I won’t be so sad about having less time in my new bikini…NOMS

I’m starting to come to terms with my grandpa passing away. I talked about funny memories I had of my grandpa with my parents last night at dinner, and I found that talking openly about it and laughing about the good times made me feel a lot better. It makes me feel like my grandpa isn’t gone forever and that he’s still here… just in a different form. My grandpa used to go to the homeless shelter downtown to eat (he was never homeless, but he was incredibly thrifty). He would tell us how delicious the food at the shelter was… My grandpa was hilarious. Closer to the end of his life, he would give people raising money for hospitals $20 bills at a time. My mom and grandpa would fight about it, but he did it because he had a good heart. I love my grandpa so much, but I have to let go in order to live my life more fully. It hurts my heart to say it, but it’s true..

 

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Unknown

I guess waking up early all week has taken a bit of a toll on me. I tried waking up at 9:30 today, but I ended up hitting the snooze button about a million and one times and woke up at 11 finally… Now in the past, 11 would have been pretty early for a Saturday morning, but post New Year’s resolution, it’s pretty late… Oops. Oh well. I’ll do better tomorrow.

It was a pretty dreary day today, and I didn’t do much of anything other than watch TV and surf the web. I edited a little bit for the magazine that I’m a part of this year, but that’s really pretty much it. C texted me at 10:30 to ask if I could come over and cuddle, but once it started it snowing, I didn’t want to go out anymore, and when I told him, it made him really sad… And then he asked me if I had feelings for him anymore, and that made me really sad. I told him that it made me upset that he asked that, but then he stopped me and reminded me of the many, many times I accused him of not loving me… And then I finally realized how hurtful my saying that to him was. So, note to self: Don’t accuse C on not loving you anymore even if you feel insecure. It’s not nice. I’m kind of frustrated with myself right now, but if I stay up trying to do stuff, I’ll just wake up late tomorrow and get on a cycle of waking up late and doing nothing and having no energy. Ugh. Sadness all around.

On a brighter note, me and my parents ended up going to dinner tonight at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. We ordered two spider rolls (which definitely does not contain spiders – there’s soft shell crab in there), two dragon rolls (one with salmon, one without), a salmon skin roll (pretty bad), a dynamite roll, an entire squid chopped up into pieces (I was not a fan…seeing tentacles really freaks me out…like really, really freaks me out), 4 tobiko (fish egg), and 2 pieces with the large eggs (I wanted to try it – it tasted like ocean water.) There was also a bar, where you could get crawfish, snow crab legs, seaweed salad, avacado salad, etc. Wow, listing all of these things…. C would have hated eating there haha. Well, if we ever go, there’s a section on the menu for teriyaki & noodles stuff. That works. 😉

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I also have to admit that I went online shopping today… I’ve been shopping A LOT lately. I need to stop. Really, really need to stop. I just couldn’t help myself when I found this, because I have been looking for this for the longest time, and I love it so much, and I will wear a million times, and I will never, ever get tired of these.

ImageIt was also $41 off… Ok, I’ll have to start small so as to not go completely crazy, but I resolve not to shop for the next week. For anything (other than food. No one can take me away from my food.)

Time for squats. Bye! xo

“Every time you do a good deed, you shine the light a little farther into the dark. And the thing is, when you’re gone, that light is going to keep shining on, pushing the shadows back.” – Charles de Lint

I went out to dinner with my old roommate, her mom, and her brother, who will be going to college nearby next year. My old roomie and I grew out of contact, and I think she spent a majority of our freshman year talking about me behind my back. I tried really hard to go out of my way and be nice to her even though I didn’t get anything in return.

6 minutes before we were supposed to meet, they called and said that they were just getting on the subway and that they were going to be late, so my mom decided to just go and pick them up. I was incredibly annoyed, because it’s like… if you’re going to be late, don’t tell us when we’re just about to get to the restaurant! I thought it was pretty rude, but my mom was very calm about it. She’s a good role model in that way – I think it’s both good and bad that she is so calm about these things, because I feel like being OK with people treating you that way can make people think they can walk all over you. Anyway, we went to pick them up and I was apprehensive about having dinner with them, because my old roomie never put in any effort towards hanging out with me all of last year. I just tried to be as positive and open and nice as possible, and it ended up being ok (I think). We ended up giving them a ride afterwards too.

So today… I learned that I should be nice to people without expecting anything in return, and that’s the best way to live: without keeping score, because I should be generous toward others, and also, ultimately, in the end material things don’t matter. People will not remember the things you did, but they will remember the way you made them feel (or so I’ve heard). This is definitely going to take some time to sink in for me.

First day of Spring semester tomorrow – I’m exhausted – sweet dreams. xo

Water Count: 20 oz 😦 I’m determined to do better tomorrow. I’m going to carry a water bottle around with me.