Valentine’s Day & Other News xoxo

I remember how important it is to write down things so that I can look back and remember them one day. Today it snowed again, and I’m getting really tired of it. Seriously, weather gods, cut it out. It’s not funny anymore. Yup, we’re all going to die apocalyptically. 

Okay, so yesterday was Valentine’s day, and I didn’t go to school. I was going to, but I had just missed my train, and I was like, ok, shit, if I go now for my one class, I’m going to be late. Then, it started snowing sideways, and I was like, F this, peace out, I’m going to get my NEW LENS. I went to Hunt’s Photo Sho in Kenmore, and they didn’t have it. The guy there said that he would call me when they did, and so I went downstairs to Starbucks to mope around and look up other photo stores. When I came out of the shop though, K was there!!! It was so serendipitous and crazy and unexpected. And we both just looked at each other like Is this really happening?? And it was, and we talked about how crazy and stupid people are like we always do – I think it’s our “thing,” and then she had to go, because her boss was coming to pick her up for her job, and I went to starbucks, got a caramel frap (IT WAS DELICIOUS), and I overheard an interviewer interviewing an interviewee for a job, and this interviewee takes a call in the middle of her interview and proceeds to text. Like, what? Honestly? Come on. 

Anyway, then I went home and started to get ready, watched YouTube on how to Valentine’s day hair, whatever that means, curled my hair, C came over, and we hung out in my room, watched an amazing Bob Ross video of him painting a beautiful picture (I WOULD LOVE ONE OF THESE ONE DAY. TOTALLY AMAZING. AMAZEBALLS. SOOOO AMAZING.) Then, we played around with my lens, cuddled for a little bit, and we went out. We went to Shaws (Brown Sugar was closed for break…3-4. ugh.). At Shaws, we got 99 cent white bread (stupidly I thought the ducks would be out downtown at the Boston Common), I gave my plethora of Valentine’s Day candy that I had gotten from T and from my boss to a homeless person, and then we went on the bus to go to Kenmore — to go to UBURGER! I got a Stunt Double Burger with onion rings — it was good at the time, but I really regretted this decision later. Like, really. Then we went to the Boston Common, played with some squirrels, went to C’s house, looked at photo albums of him being a very strange looking baby, then we hung out, went to McDonalds, and he took me home. It was really nice. For the first time, I could really see myself wanting to spend the rest of my life with him in a very genuine way. It was genuine before, but this was on a whole other level. It’s just so nice to connect with someone on such a pure and genuine level – a genuine kind of love that has no other intentions – to truly love someone is a very raw and beautiful thing. You’re exposing yourself completely to this other person, and it feels …naked. When it hurts, oh, it hurts so so so so so bad. It feels like the end of the world. Nothing else matters. The pain pierces through every part of your body, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. No one can say or do anything to make you stop loving your love even if it hurts so much. But when it’s good, it’s heaven. That’s the best way I can describe it. It’s magical. It’s …yeah, it’s magical. 

So today was a bit of a lazy day. A and his mom came over to get advice about picking classes, and it was really good to be honest about my high school experience. I told them about how much I procrastinated studying and learning math concepts and how I would spend math class studying for AP Enviro (we just had so much reading every single night) — It felt good to be honest. It always feels good to be honest and to share experiences with A. My aunt told me about how when she was little, she hated history, because her history textbooks would be lies. She read many, many books, which is why she knew they were lies. My grandpa would insist that the textbooks were truth, because he was part of that “party.” I was afraid to ask what party she was referring to, and I’m just not going to think about it, I guess. Anyway, I shared my physics flashlight, which I really love — A is deciding between taking physics and chem, and I advocate for physics, but of course everyone is saying that physics is a lot of math…. but honestly, the math is not hard, and chem was harder for me to grasp… definitely. 

Today, mom told me to feel a bath mat. It was wet. She asked me what I felt. I said, it feels wet. Then she said, oh this is the princess lifestyle, she brings things up when they’re wet. I was soo confused and annoyed. Then I realized, she thought I had brought these clothes up. Nope. Then I reveled for a little while she complained, and I said, I didn’t bring them up. Then she said who did??? And I said, Dad did. And then she asked Dad…and he said he brought them up because the time on the dryer was up. And then, I was like I think you owe me an apology, and my aunt was laughing, and I got no apology. TYPICAL. TYPICAL. SO TYPICAL. SO ANNOYING. But it’s okay – since it clearly has not affected her day, I shouldn’t let it affect mine. Letting it goooo….

Goodnight. Xo

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“Judge a man not by how he treats his equals but how he treats his inferiors.”

My sister came home for dinner today, and it was super awkward and quiet at dinner. Her left eye was all red for some reason, and my mom kept pointing it out, telling my sister that she needed to get more sleep, laughing about how my sister says she is so busy, and demanding that she drink the chicken soup she made especially for her. My sister is leaving to Mexico on Thursday – it’s supposed to snow on Thursday : 6 inches. I don’t know anymore, is that a lot? I just want the snow to end already.

I feel a LOT better today. I did pilates for blogilates – Cassey Ho is absolutely amazing. She is so encouraging that during her workout, I felt like crying, because I felt so incredibly connected to her. It made me think about how YouTube is revolutionizing the world, because Cassey does the full 30 minutes with you, so what’s the point of going to a class? I guess people are more held accountable if they pay money for a class and have to show up and do it in a group setting. I’m determined to continue doing at least one of these videos a day, because I feel GREAT!

My bottom left wisdom tooth is killing me. It’s growing in. My three other ones are just about all grown out… The reason why I’m not getting them taken out is because… like hell are you going to put me under and drag me to a dentist’s office unless it is absolutely necessary. I hate the doctor’s. I hate hospitals. I hope I just die in my sleep one day. I absolutely, absolutely am terrified by hospitals.

I entered a contest on Instagram today for some $400 boots… The idea was to come up with an outfit that you would wear with the boots. There are only three entries at this point: 1) one person didn’t even put up a caption with the outfit they’d wear with the boots 2) the second person didn’t come up with an outfit in the style that the person asked for 3) ME. I did it. Um, okay, so I’m hoping everyone forgets about it & time goes on faster so that I can win these boots basically by default. 

I did a lot of reading today – today was a much needed rest day. Back to reading and feeling myself again. :*

“Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect.” -Demi Lovato

Tonight, I caught up with a bunch of old friends, and it felt really, really good to know that I have people who care about me even though we haven’t seen each other in a long time. I’ve got to remember to keep in contact with people and not revert to an anti-social place that I’m usually in… I talked to a friend who goes to NYU named N, and she offered me a place to live for spring break if I decided to come visit, and I think I might just take her up on her offer! I guess I’ve really got to buckle down and work hard on my term papers so that I actually have time to go and visit her and not make the break all about finishing my papers… Yikes! 

I also skyped with my friend, who’s studying abroad in Sweden this semester. I always feel a little bit awkward talking to her, and I always feel like there’s something she’s possibly not telling me. She reminds me of a little puppy – her feelings are hurt pretty easily, and she always seems a little bit sad, but it was really nice to talk to her. Then, I talked to C’s friend Y’s girlfriend, P, and she told me about her trip to Malaysia. I made plans with M from high school to hang out this weekend in Harvard Square, and I made plans with R to skype soon. I also called T after she got off of work at the library to talk as she walked back to her house. 

I’ve always had a lot of anxiety when it comes to talking to people… I don’t know why I get so anxious. I just feel like I’m always going to say the wrong thing, and I always feel like everyone is better than me… I’m trying to overcome that and to just realize that I’m not perfect, and I’m okay the way that I am. I’m trying to love myself more and more every day!

I told her what my friend T told me on skype – that the girl who was subletting the place in place of T threatened T with going to the residential offices and reporting her because of their heating situation in the house even though the landlord did everything he was contractually obligated to do. This girl is from somewhere extremely warm, and she insists on having the house 70+ degrees at all times, so the heating bill went from $70/person/month to $230!!!! Really annoying. So glad that I didn’t have to live with that many people this year and that I’m just living at home…

Thursday is the best day of the week.

Ah, it’s 12:25AM, but in my mind it’s still Thursday. 
I went to my aunt’s house for another Chinese New Year dinner tonight. A showed me how his cat comes running when he plays cat noises on his iPad. It was so cute and funny. She also chases around pieces of string if you dangle it in front of her. 🙂 

We watched Impractical Jokers on YouTube together, and A showed me how to make these rubber band bracelets that all of the kids are crazy about these days.. That makes me feel incredibly old oh my god haha. There have been several times these past couple of months when I’ve thought to myself, “Wow, I feel really old…” even though I know I’m not actually old at all, and in 20 years, I’ll be kicking myself for thinking I was old when I was only 20. And I’m probably really annoying people who are older than me right now. Sorry!

I wrapped up T’s presents tonight. I really love giving presents. I think it’s my love language… 🙂 I’m giving her two dresses – one long maxi dress that’s blue and yellow & my black dress with a bow tie in the back that she really loved, a pink flannel Aerie sleep…shirt thing, and Demi Lovato’s book, Staying Strong 365 Days a Year. I’m really excited to be giving it to her!!!

Damn, I totally forgot that I have a group project due in a week… I’m really honestly dreading doing this project… I know, it’s not hard, but the process of contacting people is more difficult than the project itself. How ironic. I’m going to be really relieved once this is over though. I should go to sleep early so that I can make brownies to take to our meeting tomorrow night…Goodnight. Pictures tomorrow!!!

“Fashion fades, only style remains the same.” -Coco Chanel

I am so incredibly excited to be spending my summer in NEW YORK CITY!!!

Seriously, what a dream come true – to be a 21 year old girl spending a summer alone in NYC – okay, that sounds bad, but it’s not what you’re thinking. I’m not a big partier. I don’t drink (I have had drinks before, but I don’t treat it like a sport – therefore, I don’t “drink.”) I just can’t wait to explore, and that reminds me – I should definitely, definitely, definitely get a new lens for my Nikon D3000. This is the one that I’ve been looking at online:

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Ahh. I can’t wait for the pictures I’ll be able to take with this baby… : )

I went to BU Central with C tonight. We went to the library and were able to work in silence. Then I got a turkey, lettuce, bacon, tomato panini, a side salad with pumpkin seeds & beets (I avoided the beets), and a 22 oz. pepsi. It was SO GOOD, and it was $5. C got orange chicken, fried rice, and a slice of pepperoni picture. Then he left to get a copy of my proposal for me and CAME BACK WITH FROZEN YOGURT – with strawberries, captain crunch, mochi, and strawberry popping boba. SO. GOOD. and SO. SWEET. I am the luckiest girl.

And I also showed C a picture of the engagement ring that I love from Hearts on Fire… and he approves… Atlantico, I love you!

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Off to bed I go! Goodnight xoxo

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” -William Purkey

I caved and shopped online last night.

And I got this bikini on sale for $22 as opposed to $70+ that bikinis cost nowadays. Being a girl is so damn expensive!!

ImageI can’t wait to wear it though. I’m thinking of summer every single day… My mom is thinking of either going on a cruise this year or to Taiwan… or JAPAN! I’ve heard that Japan is a LOT of fun, and I loooooove Japanese food. 

Speaking of Japanese food, my parents and I went to The New Ginza in Watertown last night. It was SO. GOOD. I got the Ebi Mango. It was so, so incredibly good. So, if I can go to Tokyo this year, I won’t be so sad about having less time in my new bikini…NOMS

I’m starting to come to terms with my grandpa passing away. I talked about funny memories I had of my grandpa with my parents last night at dinner, and I found that talking openly about it and laughing about the good times made me feel a lot better. It makes me feel like my grandpa isn’t gone forever and that he’s still here… just in a different form. My grandpa used to go to the homeless shelter downtown to eat (he was never homeless, but he was incredibly thrifty). He would tell us how delicious the food at the shelter was… My grandpa was hilarious. Closer to the end of his life, he would give people raising money for hospitals $20 bills at a time. My mom and grandpa would fight about it, but he did it because he had a good heart. I love my grandpa so much, but I have to let go in order to live my life more fully. It hurts my heart to say it, but it’s true..

 

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Unknown

I guess waking up early all week has taken a bit of a toll on me. I tried waking up at 9:30 today, but I ended up hitting the snooze button about a million and one times and woke up at 11 finally… Now in the past, 11 would have been pretty early for a Saturday morning, but post New Year’s resolution, it’s pretty late… Oops. Oh well. I’ll do better tomorrow.

It was a pretty dreary day today, and I didn’t do much of anything other than watch TV and surf the web. I edited a little bit for the magazine that I’m a part of this year, but that’s really pretty much it. C texted me at 10:30 to ask if I could come over and cuddle, but once it started it snowing, I didn’t want to go out anymore, and when I told him, it made him really sad… And then he asked me if I had feelings for him anymore, and that made me really sad. I told him that it made me upset that he asked that, but then he stopped me and reminded me of the many, many times I accused him of not loving me… And then I finally realized how hurtful my saying that to him was. So, note to self: Don’t accuse C on not loving you anymore even if you feel insecure. It’s not nice. I’m kind of frustrated with myself right now, but if I stay up trying to do stuff, I’ll just wake up late tomorrow and get on a cycle of waking up late and doing nothing and having no energy. Ugh. Sadness all around.

On a brighter note, me and my parents ended up going to dinner tonight at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. We ordered two spider rolls (which definitely does not contain spiders – there’s soft shell crab in there), two dragon rolls (one with salmon, one without), a salmon skin roll (pretty bad), a dynamite roll, an entire squid chopped up into pieces (I was not a fan…seeing tentacles really freaks me out…like really, really freaks me out), 4 tobiko (fish egg), and 2 pieces with the large eggs (I wanted to try it – it tasted like ocean water.) There was also a bar, where you could get crawfish, snow crab legs, seaweed salad, avacado salad, etc. Wow, listing all of these things…. C would have hated eating there haha. Well, if we ever go, there’s a section on the menu for teriyaki & noodles stuff. That works. 😉

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I also have to admit that I went online shopping today… I’ve been shopping A LOT lately. I need to stop. Really, really need to stop. I just couldn’t help myself when I found this, because I have been looking for this for the longest time, and I love it so much, and I will wear a million times, and I will never, ever get tired of these.

ImageIt was also $41 off… Ok, I’ll have to start small so as to not go completely crazy, but I resolve not to shop for the next week. For anything (other than food. No one can take me away from my food.)

Time for squats. Bye! xo