Healthy State of Mind

Wow. It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted on my blog! I remember the last time I posted was when I was working on my “autobiography” for sociology on the top floor of BU’s central library with Chris, and he wrote on a little note, “You’re cute.” 

Anyway, a lot has changed since I posted in the cold middle of winter. Well…actually, it’s still really cold.

I’ve been working out semi – regularly by following along with Blogilates videos, and I can feel my body getting stronger with every workout. I know this sounds ridiculous, but it feels amazing. I love this feeling of being in control of my body. I learned that your outsides are a reflection of your insides – I had never fully made this connection between my mental and physical state of mind before, but learning this really resonated with me.

I’ve stopped eating large quantities of unhealthy food in the middle of the night… and I learned that your physique is 80% determined by what you eat. I had just never really consciously thought about my health this way before – I went to get frozen yogurt with my mom, aunt, sister, dad, and A & A the other day… I had been eating healthy all day, and I figured it would be ok to have some frozen yogurt and cookie dough… It definitely wasn’t. I woke up in the middle of the night in a sweat and rushed to the bathroom — and spewed out of all my orifices. My body was punishing me…and the cookie dough was probably poisonous. Yay.

Btw, I went to visit popo yesterday, and she was so cute. I gave her my sister’s big white teddy bear to play with in her bed, and she started playing around with it and ended up tucking the teddy bear in right next to her. My popo is like a cute little kid now haha. I gave her an orange to eat, read for enviro, and kept her company until she fell asleep. Then, I went home & mom and dad were already home talking to the guys who are working on our roof. 

Mom called me this morning at 7:15, and I was so confused and nervous – she left the stove on with eggs in it, and she asked me if the fire alarm was going off. She said that maybe dad turned the stove off for her… When I went downstairs, the inside of the pot was totally black and charred. Mom said, “I almost burned down my house and [my name],” and I thought that was pretty sweet & it made me smile, but it was so early in the morning and it smelled so bad that I didn’t say so.. Gotta show my mom that I really love her this Mother’s Day, or every day actually… I’m working on expressing my emotions outwardly to people like my mom – every time I think about doing it, it makes me want to cry. K, I still have emotional issues, but who doesn’t?

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“Judge a man not by how he treats his equals but how he treats his inferiors.”

My sister came home for dinner today, and it was super awkward and quiet at dinner. Her left eye was all red for some reason, and my mom kept pointing it out, telling my sister that she needed to get more sleep, laughing about how my sister says she is so busy, and demanding that she drink the chicken soup she made especially for her. My sister is leaving to Mexico on Thursday – it’s supposed to snow on Thursday : 6 inches. I don’t know anymore, is that a lot? I just want the snow to end already.

I feel a LOT better today. I did pilates for blogilates – Cassey Ho is absolutely amazing. She is so encouraging that during her workout, I felt like crying, because I felt so incredibly connected to her. It made me think about how YouTube is revolutionizing the world, because Cassey does the full 30 minutes with you, so what’s the point of going to a class? I guess people are more held accountable if they pay money for a class and have to show up and do it in a group setting. I’m determined to continue doing at least one of these videos a day, because I feel GREAT!

My bottom left wisdom tooth is killing me. It’s growing in. My three other ones are just about all grown out… The reason why I’m not getting them taken out is because… like hell are you going to put me under and drag me to a dentist’s office unless it is absolutely necessary. I hate the doctor’s. I hate hospitals. I hope I just die in my sleep one day. I absolutely, absolutely am terrified by hospitals.

I entered a contest on Instagram today for some $400 boots… The idea was to come up with an outfit that you would wear with the boots. There are only three entries at this point: 1) one person didn’t even put up a caption with the outfit they’d wear with the boots 2) the second person didn’t come up with an outfit in the style that the person asked for 3) ME. I did it. Um, okay, so I’m hoping everyone forgets about it & time goes on faster so that I can win these boots basically by default. 

I did a lot of reading today – today was a much needed rest day. Back to reading and feeling myself again. :*

It’s All in the Details.

I had the best day today.

I woke up at 10am, got ready for school, and walked to the C line. Instead of listening to podcasts on my iPhone like I usually do, I just enjoyed the busy silence of the day and the fresh air. It’s kind of a problem that I’m always plugged into the Internet. It’s really nice to unplug & enjoy. 🙂

I participated twice in my political thought class today! And I also talked to this guy, A, who sits next to me. He used to be in my comp sci class, but I had never talked to him then. He seems really nice – I’m pretty sure he’s a freshman. I think that my participating in class is either scaring people away from being my friend or making me more likeable… I really hope it’s not making me unlikeable. I always admire people who participate in class.

I went to MB today with my friend, and it was pretty good! By the end, we were both chocolate wasted. I only finished half of the “chocolate pizza” I got. I ended up getting it wrapped up and giving it to a homeless guy. When I gave it to him, I was scared of possibly offending him. As we walked closer, I was trying to think of something non-offensive to say, and I ended up just saying, “Do you want this? It’s chocolate.” Eh, I’m kind of wincing right now, because it sounds kind of douchey of me to have said that, but oh well. He responded with “Chocolate?!” and then he took it, and now that I think about it, I think he went back to talking on his cellphone….. Uh… Well he had a cup of change..? Maybe this is his part-time job. I’m really confused now.

T and I found a boutique called No Rest for Bridget, and everything in there is so wonderful and gorgeous and beautiful and spectacular and fabulous. Everything in the store is something I would have picked to be in the store. I found a vegan leather (I don’t know what that means) jacket on sale! It was $70, and I got it for $40. T got a gorgeous off-white lace dress with a little semi-circle cut-out in the back. Very Spencer-esque (from Pretty Little Liars). I’ve been looking for a leather jacket for 3 years, and I finally found one that I absolutely love. Here are some pictures:

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Then I took T to Lush & got a shampoo bar called “Jumping Juniper.” Here’s the description from the website:

Herbal hair magic to transform oily hair

Our purple shampoo bar jumps into action to sort out oil problems on top. It cleans away grease and balances sebum production for soft, shiny (in the good way) hair. Fruity juniperberry oil sorts out your oily, congested scalp, while lemon and lime make your hair clean and shiny and give it an extra fresh scent. The incredible herbal duo, lavender and rosemary are superpowers if you’re having troubles in the oil department. Rosemary has been used for hundreds of years for its anti-bacterial capabilities, while lavender is known for its ability to balance and soothe the scalp. You’ll be jumping for joy in no time!

I’m going to try it tonight & I’ll let you know what I think. The bar should be good for 40 washes. We’ll see if that works out, because I always end up using way too much liquid shampoo. I’m skeptical about the lather of this, because it looks like a bar of soap, so I hope it proves me wrong… 🙂 I got the extra tin too, so it would last longer & so I could hold future shampoo bars in it (if this relationship works out haha..)

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When I came home, my dad was in the garage assembling his new snowblower. I just thought to myself, ‘ah, these are little moments that I’m going to remember.’ And these moments are so ordinary, but they’re so special. Since my mom went out to dinner with some old co-workers, my dad suggested that we go out to eat. I was kind of nervous, because it can be very awkward being alone with my dad – he doesn’t really talk much, and I don’t really have much to talk to him about… but it ended up being a great night. We walked to a vietnamese restaurant that we’ve been going to for years (we both got beef pho – I got a small order, and he got a large order, like always), and he told me about the old days when he used to own a restaurant, how he was lucky to have sold it for the amount that he did, he talked about how BC kids used to order from his restaurant late at night after football games, and we talked about my sister and her boyfriends (haha…yeah, me and my dad were gossiping). He said that he hoped my sister would get married soon, and I told him that I noticed a lot of my cousins still weren’t married, and they were 30+ (I have about 13 cousins). And he said, “You need to find the right person before you get married!” And I said that I knew, but it’s just interesting how most of my cousins who are 30+ are still not married, and is this an epidemic, and will I be affected, and I don’t really think so, but who knows. When we were about to leave, the waitress stopped us and told my dad he forget his white cap. Yup, that’s my dad. 🙂 The little things just make me really happy. We walked home together, and it wasn’t awkward at all. He told me that he had made some kind of pumpkin soup concoction. When we came home, there was a box of oranges my dad’s boss had given to him, and my dad asked if I wanted to try one to see if it was sweet or not, and I said I would try it later, and five minutes later, he told me that it was sweet. I saw that my pumpkin that I had gotten from school was still on the staircase, and I said, “hey, my pumpkin’s still here!” and he said, “Yeah, I used the green one that mom got, because I don’t know if orange pumpkins taste good.” And I don’t eat pumpkins, so I don’t know, but I told him that other people ate orange pumpkins. And I’m writing all of these little things down so I won’t forget them, because I already almost forgot everything just now as I was typing, and I always want to remember this day. (Note to self: If you’re reading this one day when dad is gone, remember this day & know that he loves you very much & that the very last thing that he would want for you is to be miserable over him being gone & that he wants you to live a happy life & not spend your life being miserable. Ok? Ok.)

I’ve been having really good days today. I think it’s definitely linked to getting enough sleep and eating better.

Anyway, happy Friday! If you’re feeling down, go out and do something new this weekend! xo

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl

I had a great girls night in last night at my sisters apartment. K came over too. We picked her up at the D line & went to Peet’s Coffee and Whole Foods together (to get a roasted chicken for dinner) – K’s visiting from Cali this week. I really miss her being in Boston, but I think she’s ultimately happier there and just needs some time to figure stuff out

We talked in my sister’a kitchen for about 6 hours!! A was there, so was W and my sister’a new friend K. It was actually really fun, and it felt so good to sit around and laugh. We talked about everything. It was nice to remember what it’s like to sit with un-judgmental friends, shooting the breeze. At a lot or points in the convo, I just sat listening, but it was comfortable. I definitely had to remind myself to speak every so often, because I get lost in listening to the conversation and end up just sitting there staring, like I’m watching TV.

We made crépes too! I was so impressed with A because she made the mix for crépes without burning any of them at all! They were nice and spongy 🙂

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What I ultimately learned from our conversation was that you can’t change people. We all have different opinions about things, and that’s okay. This is something that I’m finally realizing and that I think I’ll get better at dealing with. It’s so important to just be your best self, and if someone doesn’t like you, that’s fine. You shouldn’t let other people’s negativity outshine your attempts at being positive. If you are your best self and you treat others well, then someone speaking badly of you and not liking you is not your fault. It kind of feels like a relief to really understand this – I feel like I’ve always known it, but I’m beginning to really understand it. And it feels good.

And it feels like such a relief to be in good company – to be with people who are happy to be there for you and who are happy for your successes… and who don’t laugh or get angry and insulted when you have a different opinion.

So, future N, when you feel really down in the future, remind yourself to surround yourself with good company – don’t define your self-worth based off of people who simply just don’t like you and who will never truly be there for you just because. And know that you can’t change them, but you can change yourself. You can change your own attitude – and just be as nice as possible, and you can do no wrong.

This post is all over the place, but forgive me – I only had a few hours of sleep last night due to talking all night with N and K… it’s okay though – definitely worth it.

Oh, also I got BANGS yesterday!!! New year, new hair. I love it. 🙂 I love this place on Comm Ave – it’s called Louie’s.

After getting my nails done today (I got Tour De Finance! SO PRETTY), I went to Panera with C in Coolidge Corner, and we had such a nice chat (a fireside chat haha). I got a cinnamon raisin swirl bagel and some Dr. Pepper mixed with Mountain Dew (oops for drinking two cuploads of sugar..). He’s working on eating healthier and getting more sleep, and he looked so, incredibly handsome… Really, I am the luckiest girl in the world. He treats me like such a princess, and I just feel so happy to have him in my life. He makes me feel complete and every other cliché in the book. Just typing this makes me so happy.

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C told me about him teaching his dad Javascript and how that made him really happy to do that… He’s so sweet. C’s going to NJ tomorrow with his mom to “see Grandpa for the last time” or perhaps the last time. It makes me sad that I can’t go with him, because I start school on Monday.. It also makes me sad that if his grandpa passes away, I will have only met him once. He seems to have lived such an adventurous life though, and I wish I had more time to sit down and listen to his stories. I really love that.

I should make Valentine’s Day plans with C! Maybe we could go to Shabu… haha we go there so much.. I know that PF Chang’s is where we started out going in high school, but it just seems like too sweet and sour for me now. I feel like Shabu Zen is a lot more cozy? I can’t wait to live with C on day… 🙂 I think we go really well together. He makes me want to live forever.

Water Count: 20 oz – need to do better tomorrow!